Today went to meet up with secondary school classmate before I go in NS next week. So some didn't turn up due to some unfore seen circumstance, but anyway those who had came, thanks for coming. We went to sing karaoke and after the singing session, we went to Bedok 85 there to eat. Anyway my dear friend Melissa have a boyfriend already. They have been together for 1year plus, finally she is attached while I'm still single for so long. Well, the boyfriend not bad looking so I guess they look good together espically when my dear friend Melissa is pretty. We had so much fun the whole day, but someone sms me and almost spoiled my mood. That idiot got nothing better to do then pastering me for a 2nd chance and I had already said that it's almost impossible as everything is over already so stop asking. I hate to say this but think I had found someone so much better than you. At least people are more sweet and tweety not like you, at least people knows how to catch whole of my heart and you never ever give a damn. People are talented and we both like dancing but for me and you, its heaven and hell there is nothing in common. Don't blame me for not giving you another chance as I had given you before but you never take good care with it and when it's over, you will give your 1 million and 1 excuese so that's the end between you and me. So stop disturbing me and get a life, I'm tired of it and you are driving me nuts. Hope that you will grown up and stop being inmature so that your future parther will not have a misery life.
The whole day I'm quite bother by somethings that I don't know what I should do. My life had turn into a mess since that night I'm drunk. Did something that is totally out of my mind and its like so make shy. She told me that its ok, it might be a good start but to me I don't know what to do. What good start? First time I'm digging such a grave that I will get stuck down there and I don't what I wan. Too confuse already, I need to really sit down and think about it.
Too many things that I have to consider. I'm going for my NS soon, if it happen now will everything be ok down this few years. I'm so afraid to think of it, what if it didn't work out. I don't know I can handle not? Each time I look at you the temptation is there and it's hard to be faithful to myself. What the hell is going on with me. I told myself to clam down and really think it hard but it seems like nothing is working. God you better help me think of something before I did something wrong. I don't wanna regret like what had happen in the past. I really want a life that's mine. When you talk to me all the words seems to be like candy, so sweet and the smile you gave was like an angel and I was instantly brought to a dreamland. A land that is so sweet and beautiful and everything seems so perfect and I felt like I'm the most happiest person ever live in this world, but beautiful don't last long. The time we spend together passes so fast like we are trap in a endless world and by the time we are out, the whole thing had already changed so much without notice.
I tell myself that I need to be faithful to myself and be firm without letting loose of myself. When I think of everything, it seems like the candy is tempting me so much even though I'm not a really candy person but the feeling is hard to describe. Can someone tell me what to do?
Ever since then, my world is corrupted and messy. Its a big problem to me now.