These few days I cried a lot. Through out my ICT haven't been really able to concentrate a lot. I miss you so much that I hardly able to control myself. I'm going crazy and haywire. Sometimes you don't reply or delay in replay I panicked and jump into conclusion creating a lot of misunderstanding. I'm really missing you so much and tomorrow you'll be going back to Thailand for 1week or so I'm not sure. I have so much to tell you and I really hope to see you again before you leave. I need to tell myself every other minute that you are busy working everyday and working through the night is not easy and in the day you need to rest plus sometimes having hangover but again when you didn't reply promptly I will start thinking non stop and I hardly able to calm down and tears start flowing down.
Every time when I come across anything got to do with beer, Thai or tall guys it reminds me of you. I don't know if I'm able to make it next week.
I opened my option, you found me. I closed my option because of you and I don't wanna open my option also because of you. I miss you badly.
Today wasn't that great as I expected. Things turn out totally different from yesterday. Everything seems so cold and I'm hanging in the air. No news no message from you. I feeling empty and I'm crying helplessly, suddenly my world came crashing down and nothing seems as beautiful like before. Why do I need to go through all these nonsense again and again. Why left me hanging in the air and its like hanging me to a death sentence. I hardly can breathe anymore. When I ask myself why I become like these and I no longer able to understand myself anymore. Am I being too sticky or am I not giving you any personal space. Maybe I'm over doing what I need to do. Give myself some times maybe these 5 days is a good time for me to clear my mind and hopefully by then I'm able to hear something from you.
First time I met you tonight and I'm nervous while on my way to your workplace. I'm not sure if there is going to be a big issue with our language barrier but thank god everything wasn't that bad after all. You're so nice and when Ayaka called your friends to get you, I was in a great panic as I'm not even ready for your appearance. Aiko, K'vin and Phil was laughing to their heart out when they saw how lost I am. Poppi was nice and I'm glad that you have a good friend there to take care of you. When I see how hard you're digesting our language when there's Japanese, English and Chinese. Seeing how hard you manage to get our message across I can't help but to feel the pain for you. I will burk up my Thai so in future you won't have a hard time translating all these language. I'm really happy and words are beyond description how I actually feel. When you told me you only slept for 1hour and yet without any option but to come to work my heart sank deep into the ocean. I really hope tonight you'll have a easy night and rest well... I miss you..
I'm feeling a bit down in life, lost my aim and goals in life. Everything is so different and no longer the same. Feeling empty and I'm totally sick and tired. Every time I need to find ways to push myself forward and keep on going though I no longer have the strength to carry on. Everyone changed including my friends and family. Some changed for the good some I can't comment. I'm feeling down and no motivation in life. Can someone please tell me how to carry on when I'm lost.