Love brings pain...
Sunday, January 01, 2012
When I turn around even though it seems long ago but everything was clear enough to happen like yesterday. Running down the street, I realise how lonely one can be. From the surface everyone is judging you from what was reflected in front of them. From the surface everyone thinks that I'm happy with my life, with many friends surrounding you, going on shopping spree but in fact I'm just a empty shell. I'm like a seashell, smooth and clear on the outside but when you turn around and look inside it's empty and not as nice as it appears on the outside.
Every night before I close my eyes and go to sleep, I'm asking myself "are you happy in life, is this what you want in life?". I know I'm not that perfect but can't you see I'm trying hard to turn it around just because of you.
In the past people use to tell me don't be a foolish but I choose to be the fool in your life just to make you happy. Acting like a bimbo is not my job and pleasing you is not what I'm suppose to do every time. Looking back and I realise how much I had lost about myself. I'm no longer the same person I was just because I know that if I were myself things will be different.
I'm too naive to believe you're nice and someone I can believe in but in the end you prove me wrong and prove others right about you. Well again, I tell myself "how many times you need to go through before you learn." Now I'm telling myself, I learned and I'm no longer the puppet you are hanging around with. I need to put myself together be it in pieces or what, I'm living my life without you.
-The end-